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Dr. E.Z. Streat - Doctor Note - Credible Medical Excuses for the Absent Employee By : Dr. E.Z. Streat Reasons for taking time off work vary. Be it a family emergency, a medical condition, a misunderstanding with a co-worker, a hangover or a much needed break from stress employees everywhere and anywhere from the supervisors down to the rank and file will always have reasons to absent themselves. Unfortunately for most companies, employees take time off from work usually for reasons that are just unacceptable in a professional environment. Most of the time the more credible excuses are medical and should come with a doctor note. Emma Vasquez - The Novelty of a Fake College Diploma By : Emma Vasquez It is important to remember here that this is all in good fun. You are securing these fake diplomas to have them and because they look interesting. Certainly, using a fake college diploma or transcript for a job application could land a person in a heap of trouble. Besides the illegality of use in such situations, it creates a lot of embarrassment for the individual if the truth became known that his/her education was falsified. Simon Barrett - Book Review: Embracing Your Big Fat Ass - An Owners Manual by Laura Banks and Janette Barber By : Simon Barrett I was completely off base, Embracing Your Big Fat Ass is a wonderfully funny look at the how we perceive that others might view our ’sitting muscle’. Both authors are to be congratulated in producing such a witty dialog. Both are accomplished stand up comics, and I am sure that some of the material used in the book originated in their on stage performances. Nahshon Roberts - Things You Should Never Do in Front of a CCTV Security Camera By : Nahshon Roberts Whatever you do, never ever do these things if you value your sanity, your dignity, your levity, and most important, your life. (Unless of course, you are inside Big Brother’s house relishing the presence of 24/7 surveillance cameras and losing all of the above will get you noticed by TV viewers, in which case, this could be turned into “Things You Must Do To Win the Grand Prize”) Robert Kane - 5 Countries Where Marijuana is Legal (Almost!) By : Robert Kane Most people know about Holland’s famously relaxed laws regarding marijuana (which is why it doesn’t feature on the list below!) While no other country has achieved such high profile recognition for making marijuana legal, a number of places around the world have quietly relaxed their laws concerning possession for personal use. In most of these countries, possession still remains technically illegal, but penalties are not enforced if you are within certain guidelines – this is known as decriminalisation. Robert Kane - Marvellous Marijuana Stories By : Robert Kane Before you all pack your bags and head over the Atlantic, I should point out that it’s strictly for people with a medical prescription to use marijuana as part of their healthcare – and there are safeguards in place to prevent non-prescribed folks from using it. Patients will be required to provide their prescription, give a fingerprint and then have their photo taken. BOB E SHERMAN - Keep Your Head Above Water By : BOB E SHERMAN As a past member of the Hallandale Beach Marine Advisory Committee, I was privy to the plans for the new city marina. The plans called for a pumpout station located in an inaccessible corner of a dead end canal. I suggested a more accessible location. The city representative was shocked and stated “Then, everyone would use it.” I was stupefied. The marina is still not built and may never be, as the permits are stuck in a bureaucratic quagmire; much of it over sea grass or some other fish and wildlife issue. Bradlley Mckoy - Excuses For When Your Business Card Holder Turns Up in the Most Unlikely Places By : Bradlley Mckoy Unlike clothes, you cannot disown a personalized business card holder with business cards in it! So what happens when your business card holder is found in these places and everybody you know teases and confronts you about it? Bradlley Mckoy - Of Leather Briefcases, Accountants and Assassins By : Bradlley Mckoy Though you might think that assassins and accountants do the same thing - they can kill you, only in different means and methods - they are very distinct professions with equally distinct characteristics. Here are just two of them: Kenzi Kiabot - Send Free Prank Email For Free By : Kenzi Kiabot What are other reasons you may have to become an anonymous mailer besides free prank email sending? Perhaps you suspect your husband of cheating on you and you want to catch him on the act. If you are a model citizen, then perhaps you might transform in a hidden sender and inform tax office about those who dare to cheat on their tax paying duties. Untraceable emails can also be used as a way to declare your romantic feelings to somebody. This resource is also perfect to send secure emails when your own email address does not function (temporary email). Bradlley Mckoy - How to Ask Your Parents For Money (And Get Rejected Fast!) By : Bradlley Mckoy Parents are not exactly heartless. In fact, your parents might just be teaching you about adult responsibilities that you refuse to take as you cling to being a Peter Pan. There is nothing wrong with being a Peter Pan as much as there is nothing wrong with Michael Jackson. Or maybe there is? But I digress. Here is how to make your father hide his leather money clip faster than you can whine "Oh, Pleaaasssseee help me, Mother". Sue Ticotin - Fatherhood According To Larry By : Sue Ticotin Men who grew up with much younger siblings are more naturally at ease with taking care of babies. Larry did not have this advantage. It soon became evident the night our friends, Jim and Sally, came over for dinner with their 6 month old child. Wanting to give my husband some practice time in handling babies, Sally handed over her baby to Larry to hold for a few minutes. He was clearly nervous and uncomfortable and didn’t know what to do. When I announced that dinner was ready, Larry who is always the first in line when it comes to food, eagerly turned to put the baby down on the blanket so he could eat. Robert A. Meyer - Peanuts Arenâ€™t Really Peanuts â€“ "A" Doesnâ€™t Equal "A" By : Robert A. Meyer If you purchased a bag of apples at your local grocery store, arrived home and discovered that your bag of apples were oranges you would exist in a state of uncertainty—your life would be chaotic. Or if you were driving, came to an intersection with a stop light and green wasn’t really green—in fact green is often red—you probably wouldn’t reach your destination. James Lister - Life Insurance - A Funny Story By : James Lister His best friend and partner James took him out for a drink one last time – on company time, of course. James asked, “Steve, you’re the best life insurance agent I’ve ever seen. For the past 8 years, you’ve been outselling everyone. And every time I ask how you do it, you never tell me. Now that you are retiring, let me in on your secret. How do you sell so many life insurance plans?” Lyall Cresswell - 10 More Silly Lorry Stories! By : Lyall Cresswell A lorry driver made a 100-mile trip with a live chicken under his bonnet. The truck driver only heard the hen clucking when he arrived at an Asda depot near Chepstow, Monmouthshire. Transport clerk Alex Viljoen said: ‘The lorry driver was afraid to pick the bird up. She was a bit warm and there was oil on her feathers, but she seemed quite happy.’ The chicken was taken to vet Caroline Marlow and given a clean bill of health - then laid an egg. Caroline said: ‘We think she was copying Chicken Run and trying to escape.’ Patrick Chong - Boo! Top 10 Scariest Travel Destinations By : Patrick Chong The Winchester Mystery House in San Hose, California, is a well-known California mansion that was built continuously for 38 years from 1884 and 1922, and is thought to be haunted. It once was the home of Sarah Winchester, the widow of gun magnate William Wirt Winchester. Sarah Winchester thought the house was haunted by ghosts of people killed by Winchester rifles and that only continuous construction would appease them. Lyall Cresswell - Lorries In The Limelight By : Lyall Cresswell From the Coca Cola Christmas haulage truck from the TV ad to the mysterious characters of the tongue twister ‘Red Lorry Yellow Lorry‘, here is a reminder of some of the most famous trucks, lorries and general haulage vehicles of all time. Lyall Cresswell - World's Top 10 Silly Lorry Stories! By : Lyall Cresswell An Austrian doctor lodged a complaint after a lorry driver threw a cheeseburger at him for driving too slowly. But police told Hannes Kohl, from Vienna, that burger throwing was not an offence. He was hit on the head by the cheeseburger thrown by an overtaking lorry driver through his open car window. Dr Kohl, who was on his way to a medical congress in the Czech Republic, said: ‘I was going slowly but that was no excuse for this outrageous attack.’ Daniel Eyre - How To Tell When Youâ€™ve Been On Too Many Cheap Holidays In Spainâ€¦ By : Daniel Eyre However, once you’ve got into the swing of things and become a regular Spanish holiday maker, there are a number of important things to remember when you return from your latest cheap holiday in Spain - those habits you learned over all those weeks in the sun might not go down so well when you get home. Here is a list of the top ten habits to break when you get back from a Spanish holiday – including unfortunate hairstyle mistakes and the urge to sleep from 2 till 5. Dodie Cross - Squat Toilets Are Not Meant For Women Over 30! By : Dodie Cross A few days after arriving in Bangkok, I was shopping at Robinson's Department Store. I'd been having some bladder problems, and as many 50-something women find, their lower internal organs begin to drop, droop, sag, bag and demand attention; and we don't ignore it when we feel the familiar sign of wet knickers. John Penberthy - Call Of The Mall--The Seasons Of Shopping By : John Penberthy My wife and daughter get more pleasure out of shopping for clothes than most people do from a $40 meal, even if they come home with one $15 item (which is rare). Or, as Tammy Faye Bakker once put it, “Shopping is a lot cheaper than a psychiatrist.” When they return home from a shopping foray, my daughter tries on her purchases for me and tells me how much of a discount she got on each. Somehow $20 off a $70 sweater doesn’t have the same impression on me as it did on Abercrombie. But I smile and tell her how “cute” it is.